MY nephew Murphy yesterday asked me, “Tito, how should I know who among my friends are true friends?” I fumbled for an answer and began thinking of famous quotations like “A friend in need is a friend indeed” and “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.”

“Well,” I hesitated, disagreeing in my mind with those two quotes, “I am afraid true friends are hard to find. If somebody relishes your presence only because you are useful to him, he’s not a true friend. Friendship is no diamond that lasts forever. Probably because of gradual change in every person’s outlook and character, your friend today could be your enemy tomorrow, and vice versa.”

I had in mind my best friend in college, now occupying a position of power, who now avoids me as if I were not worth his attention. So what? It’s no valid reason for him to look down on an old friend. Everybody begins and ends in a common journey – from womb to tomb. What’s in between does not count in the end.

My nephew seconded, “I think so, too. Our politicians are like that. They convert friends into foes and foes into enemies, whichever is favorable to them at the moment.”

“Yes. Even we in the media are vulnerable to political acrobatics.”

In saying those words, I remembered an incident involving a municipal mayor and his supposed friend, a newspaper publisher. It was a Sunday morning when this mayor appeared in the publisher’s radio-TV talk show and spent one whole hour exposing the “graft and corruption” of a cabinet member whose congresswoman-wife he would run against in 2010. As a result, unfortunately, the cabinet member pulled his weekly ads – worth hundreds of thousands of pesos – out of the publisher’s newspaper. If the mayor were a true friend, he would have spared the publisher such costly damage to business.

Anyway, my nephew would not be discouraged, reminding me of what he had learned in the grade school: the classic true-to-life friendship between philosophers Damon and Pythias in the 4th century BC. They lived in Syracuse, Sicily, a city then under the rule of Dionysius the Younger. Condemned to death for plotting against Dionysius, Pythias asked permission to go home to his family for the last time. Dionysius consented on condition that Damon remained as a hostage. Pythias did not show up on schedule, thus giving the king no choice but to execute Damon. Fortunately, Pythias arrived just as Damon was about to die in his place. Dionysius was so impressed by this example of fidelity that he pardoned Pythias.

I could only say amen to that. We all know of present-day friendships that pass the test of time simply because we human beings are inherently social animals who experience joy in social attachments. As a song goes, “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.”

Missing in America buy

Whenever we come into contact with a likeable individual, we take time thinking of ways and means to win him as new friend. There is never a guarantee, however, that this new friendship would preserve itself for life. In time we could become suspicious, possibly jealous at the very things that made our friend interesting. If he were rich and we were poor, for example, we might no longer feel at home with him. Therefore it is only natural to replace old friends with new ones. We meet so many new and interesting people that we drop our other friends in their favor.

But as long as it’s there, I reminded my nephew, friendship is reciprocal. I asked him to be happy when his friends are happy, cherish their accomplishments as if they were his, and always look for friends of good moral character.

“Good moral character?” my 17-year-old nephew joked. “Then you could not be my friend, Tito.”

•••

Fellow Guardian columnist Ranie Jangayo and I heaved “ohs” and “ahs” while viewing the Miss Silka fashion show at Amigo Mall last Saturday. The young girls, all beautiful and sexy in assorted casual wears, were actually competing for the title Miss Silka 2009. Silka, by the way, is a brand of soap and skin-care products manufactured by Cosmetique Asia.

The participating fashion promoters included Shoebox, 2-Up, Aleana, Fashion Boulevard, Mix & Match, Defined Clothing, and Amania.

Three more events with these girls are slated: the talent competition at Robinson Iloilo on July 3, the swimwear parade at El Dorado Waterpark at Smallville on July 10 and the grand coronation of the chosen Miss Silka Iloilo at the WVSU Auditorium on July 25. The Iloilo winner will then compete for the Miss Silka Philippines 2009 title in Manila within the year.

Kudos to Joy Cañon of TMX (Travel & Marketing Xperts) for the success of the eye-popping presentation of Miss Silka candidates.

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